The 20 Year Anniversay Posts - Diagnosis Memories

24th May 2011 - I need to start by saying I can't quite believe it has been TWENTY YEARS since I was diagnosed.  So much has happened in that time.....medications have changed, my doctors have changed but the biggest thing that's changed is my attitude to my Diabetes!!!

Like every Person With Diabetes (PWD) and every parent of a Child With Diabetes (CWD) the day of diagnosis is permanently etched on my memory. 

24th May 1991 was not only 'D-Day' (Diagnosis Day) but also my Grandpa's birthday.....I think its safe to sat that his Grandaughter being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes was not exactly the present he wanted!!! I will never ever forget being in the kitchen at home sitting on my Grandpa's lap with my Grandma sat next to us whilst my Mom was in the hallway on the phone to the GP.  That particular memory is so clear, it's as if it only happened last week!!! The GP told my Mom to take me straight up to the hospital as the blood test he had done when my Mom took me to see him about her concerns, indicated Type 1 Diabetes.  I had turned 10 years old the month before and life would never be the same again for me and my family.

As I'm sure most of you reading this will already know the main symptoms/warning signs for Type 1 Diabetes are: feeling very thirsty all the time, producing excessive amounts of urine, tiredness and weight loss and muscle wasting. These symptoms happen because some or all of the glucose stays in your blood and it isn’t being used as fuel for energy. Your body then tries to reduce blood glucose levels by flushing the excess glucose out of the body in the urine. Type 1 Diabetes is when no insulin is produced at all because the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas have been destroyed. Nobody knows for sure why these cells have been damaged but the most likely cause is the body having an abnormal reaction to the cells. There is nothing that you can do to prevent Type 1 Diabetes. This type of Diabetes is always treated with insulin injections / insulin pump therapy.

It was the combination of all of those symptoms that alerted my Mom to the fact that something was clearly not right with me and so she took me to see our GP.

I have several memories of how I felt before diagnosis, whilst the symptoms were taking hold of me. The extreme thirst is hard to describe - it's like you haven't had a drink for weeks....you could drink a litre of water and then half an hour later you need another and then another!!! I remember having to keep going out of lessons at school and taking gulp after gulp of water from the drinking fountain and then of course having to go out of lessons again to have a wee after all the water I was drinking. God knows what the teachers thought I was doing!!!! I can remember being so so tired, mainly I think, because I was up and down so many times to the toilet or to make more drinks during the night!!!


I also remember losing my appetite and never feeling like eating anything. I would just push my food around my plate and try to get away with eating as little as possible at every meal....this of course lead to weight loss. Photos of me around that time are quite shocking in terms of how thin I actually was.

Other than the memory with my grandparents in the kitchen and my Mom on the phone, I dont recall much more about the day I was actually admitted to hospital.  I'm sure my Mom and Dad have much clearer memories of that than I do.  I can picture the ward I was on and the bed I was in and the Diabetes Nurse who looked after me whilst I was there.  He was called Martin, was really funny and was a Type 1 Diabetic himself.  I suppose because he knew what it was like, he tried to make us newly diagnosed kids smile as much as possible!!

The day after I was diagnosed and admitted to hospital was my brother, Daniel's 7th birthday.  He was having a party at the local bowling alley and I wasn't allowed to go....gutted!!! I'd really been looking forward to burger and chips after the bowling!!!

First injection - I'm not sure how many days I'd been in hospital when I had to do my first injection but I can remember being understandably very scared.  I had always been absolutely petrified of needles so this really was my worst possible nightmare.  I had seen a TV programme a few weeks before about a Diabetic girl and I remember thinking how awful it would be to have to inject myself every day and now there I was having to do exactly the same!!!!  I've heard lots of people say they learned to do their injections into an orange before being 'let loose' on their own bodies but I didn't get to practice on any citrus fruit first, my first one was straight into my stomach!!

We were due to go on holiday just 3 weeks after I was diagnosed to Corfu, Greece.  Being 10 I was really excited and didnt think too much about how scary a prospect it must have been for my parents to be taking their newly diagnosed Diabetic daughter abroad for two weeks!!!! Thinking about it now, I have no idea how they did it but we managed and had a great time.  I wasn't restricted in doing anything and spent plenty of time in the pool having fun like a 'normal' 10 year old should!!! One memory is of eating a huge sugary do-nut and I'm sure my Mom, being so new to it all, must have been worried about what would happen to my sugars but as I was doing plenty of swimming it didnt seem to affect my levels!!!
 The worst hypo I can remember was at home, luckily.  I collapsed on the stairs whilst I was holding a pile of Christmas presents that I was about to take in to school for my friends.  I think I was about 11 or 12.  My Dad ended up having to inject me with emergency Glucagon while we waited for the doctor to turn up.  I was unconscious and couldn't swallow and so my Mom had to squirt Hypostop, as it was called at the time, into my mouth.  Again, I'm sure this was much scarier for my parents than it was for me!!!

Glucagon Kit

What is Glucagon?
Glucagon is a hormone (like insulin) produced by the pancreas which opposes the action of insulin. It is administered as an injection and can be given beneath the skin, into muscle or into a vein.

Glucagon is used in emergency situations for the treatment of serious hypo symptoms, including collapse and fitting and when the patient is unconscious.  Glucagon causes blood glucose levels to rise within 10-60 minutes after an injection.
I don't really remember too much about what happened just after my diagnosis apart from when I went back to school I had a white box to take with me which I'd been allowed to customise with lots of stickers which had Hypostop, glucose tablets etc. in it and it was given to the staff to keep in the medical room and i remember feeling really lucky that I always got to eat a fun-size Mars bar or Bounty before PE lessons!! 

I haven't really got many memories of how we all adjusted to our new way of life.  I suppose we, like all other families affected by Diabetes, just got on with it - what choice did we have!!  I'm sure there was more to it than that for my Mom and other close family though.The thought of going to the hospital for a check up with my consultant always filled me with terror.  I absolutely hated going there as a child.  Not much changed when I got older and started to go to the adult clinic!!! By the time I was in my mid teens I had gone completely off the rails in terms of keeping on top of my diet and testing my blood sugars so every visit to the hospital meant a telling off. 
My teens were a combination of denial, anger and frustration about Diabetes.  I pretended I didnt have anything wrong with me.  I didnt want to be different.  I stopped testing my sugars and I ate huge amounts of chocolate, the evidence of which I kept hidden, or tried to.  I won't go into all of it too much because that's a whole separate blog post for another time but I finally got the wake up call I so badly needed when I was diagnosed with Diabetic Retinopathy.  This is damage to the retina (the ‘seeing’ part at the back of the eye) and is a complication that can affect anyone who has Diabetes.  Retinopathy is the most common cause of blindness among people of working age in the UK.  It scared me into finally sitting up and taking notice of my condition......

I have gone from syringes and vials of insulin 20 years ago to cartridges of insulin in 'pens' with screw on needles, then disposable pens where the insulin was already inside with screw on needles and now I'm on an insulin pump. 

Over the years I tried different types of insulin, different regimes, starting on 2 injections a day, going up to 4 a day, back to 2, back up to 4, eating healthy diets, cutting out all chocolate and sweet things and nothing seemed to work. 

Now I have my pump, I can honestly say it is the best thing I have ever done.  I do have bad days or moments with it when I hate being 'attached' to it but overall it has completely changed my life and most importantly my HbA1c has come down from 11.6% to 7.6% in under a year.

There's always that fear in the back of my mind of what will happen in the future in terms of my eye sight and other complications that may arise but most of the time I try not to dwell on it too much. As long as I know I'm doing the best I can now then that's about as much as I can do!!! I do 100% regret neglecting my health so much during my teens but I can't turn back time no matter how much I want to so I just have to focus on the present and do my best. In the fairly near future we are hoping to start a family so it is essential that my HbA1c is as perfect as I can get it.  I need to make sure I'm doing everything I possibly can to minimise the chances of birth defects and things going wrong during a pregnancy.  I'm certainly on the right track with my HbA1c now so fingers and toes crossed that we get the healthy baby we want so much!!! :o)




Now for the thank you's.....

Firstly my Mom, of course, who has been there for all of it and put up with me and supported me when I was doing my very best to rebel against Diabetes.  It's only now I have some sense of how awful it must have been to watch me neglect my health and I am truly sorry for putting my Mom through that!!! Thank you for being you and not giving up on me!!! xx

Gareth, my other half...we have been together almost 5 years and he has been fantastic all throughout our relationship, particularly when I made the decision to go ahead with getting an insulin pump.  He has always shown a genuine interest in my condition and is behind me 100% and encourages me when I'm having a down day or when my sugars go haywire and I feel like giving up.  He has been a superstar when I've been suffering with eye problems and laser treatments!!! I appreciate all that you do for me!!! Thank you xx 
My grandparents for always being there for me and ferrying me to and from hospital and doctors appointments over the years and for always giving me a kick up the bum when I needed it to get me back on track!!! Love you both!! xx
 Other thank you's are for my brother Daniel, the rest of my family, my close friends, my work colleagues - all for putting up with me whinging and moaning and for always asking how I'm doing!!!!

Also, to all the people I have 'met'/been in touch with in the DOC (Diabetic Online Community)....you are all an inspriation to me, you support me and always pick me up when I feel like giving up!!!! Thank you all so much!!! xxHere's to the next 20 years!!!!  ;o)

The 20 Year Anniversary Posts - 20 Essentials for a Diabetic - Part One

Thought I'd try and stick with the 'twenty' theme for a few of my anniversary posts so here's the first list of 20 'D-related' things - Essentials for a Diabetic or a for Parent of a Child with Diabetes - some of the medication related ones are really obvious but others are more about some of the qualities that I think you need to cope on a daily basis!!!

 1.  Insulin - like I said, it's a really obvious one but this has got to be top of the list of essentials for a Type 1 Diabetic.....for those that don't know, Diabetes is a condition where the amount of glucose in your blood is too high because the body cannot use it properly. This is because your pancreas does not produce any insulin.  Type 1 Diabetes develops when the insulin-producing cells in the body have been destroyed and the body is unable to produce any insulin.

Diabetes UK's website describes the way insulin works as follows: Insulin is the key that unlocks the door to the body’s cells. Once the door is unlocked glucose can enter the cells where it is used as fuel. In Type 1 diabetes the body is unable to produce any insulin so there is no key to unlock the door and the glucose builds up in the blood.
Nobody knows for sure why these insulin-producing cells have been destroyed but the most likely cause is the body having an abnormal reaction to the cells. This may be triggered by a virus or other infection. Type 1 diabetes can develop at any age but usually appears before the age of 40, and especially in childhood.

R.I.P Pancreas

2.  Support - A Person with Diabetes (PWD) cannot possibly get through all the trials and tribulations that this life-long disease brings without a great deal of support from various sources. 

3.  Patience - Diabetes is challenging to put it mildly - You don't always get it right and things don't always go the way you expect them to blood sugar wise so having patience is essential in order to keep you sane!!! Basal testing can seem tedious and frustrating, sitting in hospital and doctors waiting rooms is boring, waiting to hear about insulin pump funding, hearing the media report things that are incorrect or that don't give the full picture, being confronted with discrimination in the workplace/school/life in general, having people say things like "It could be worse" or "You can't eat that can you?" ......these are just a few other D-related situations where you may require plenty of patience!!!


4.  Family and Friends - I guess this comes under the heading of 'support' but I truly believe that without fantastic family I wouldn't get through the 24/7 of it all.  Family and friends certainly have to put up with a lot, especially close family who see you go through it all every single day and have to put up with the tears, tantrums, frustrations, attend appointments, see scary hypos and hypers etc. etc. but they are also there to share the good HbA1c results and the happiness when things are going right!!!


5. The Medical Profession - Diabetes Specialist Nurses (DSN), consultants, dieticians and all the other members of the medical profession that we come into contact with over the years are essential cogs in the machine!!!  I have the support of a great team but I realise that this is not always the case so I know I am very lucky.

6. Sense of Humour - Diabetes is a constant roller coaster ride and a good sense of humour is essential for dealing with the ups and downs.  You have to laugh and try and see the positives otherwise you'd end up in tears all the time!!!  There are a great deal of negative things about Diabetes so its important to smile about all the small triumphs and grin every time you win the tiniest of battles against it.

7.  Blood Testing Kit - These little gadgets enable a Diabetic to see exactly whats going on with their blood sugar levels at any given time.  There are numerous types of test meter and I'm sure most PWD's have tried lots of different ones and probably even have a few spares at the back of a cupboard!! It would be very difficult to guess at how many times a Diabetic has to prick their finger, squeeze out a drop of the red stuff and transfer it onto a test strip during their lifetime but its a hell of a lot.  My blood testing meter (along with my pump) is now my best friend and is always with me.  I went through a long period of time when I left my kit in a draw and only took it out occasionally to write a few fake results in my monitoring diary.  That time in my life seems so long ago now and I cant believe I was so irresponsible.  Now I do at least 4 tests every day and the information helps me to keep things on an even keel and provides data on what certain foods and activities do to my sugar levels.

8.  Glucose Tablets - Not nice (I can only describe it as similar to eating chalk) but essential for treating hypos quickly and effectively!!! I currently use raspberry flavoured Glucotabs which are not great but are certainly the best of a bad bunch!!! I'll bet if you look round the houses of people with Diabetes you will find plenty of tubs / packets of glucose tablets!!! I have them in the kitchen, in the draw of my bedside table, in almost every bag that I own, in our car and in my desk at work!!!

9.  Strength - This is something that I bet most Diabetics / parents of Diabetics don't even think about because we all just 'get on with it' but if you do sit down and have a proper think about it all and what we put up with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year then it will soon dawn on you that we are all incredibly strong.  This strength comes from inside us but also we draw on the strength of those around us to get us through it all.  When we are having a bad day or feeling down we can always rely on other Diabetics or family and friends to bring us back up to full strength again!!!

10.  Diabetic Online Community (DOC) - As most of you will know, I spent a long period of time throughout my teens in denial and trying to ignore my condition.  Since I saw the light and decided to pull myself together I have discovered the DOC.  I have already referred to family and friends and the strength we can draw from them when we are feeling down but the DOC is an invaluable source of support, advice and friendship.  I have made lots of friends in the DOC since starting my blog and since deciding to pay attention to my Diabetes.  No question is too silly, no moan is too much for people in the DOC and no matter how you feel you can always rely on someone to know exactly how you are feeling and there is always someone there to bring you back on track and put a smile on your face!!! I can honestly say I would be lost without the DOC and only wish I'd found it sooner!!!

Essentials 11 to 20 to follow.......  :o)